So, trying to get those FWONKERS at Costco to actually do their damn jobs is turning into an exercise in frustration.
It all started back in March, when I bought the tires from the Costco website and had them delivered to the store for installation. It took a week for them to actually get to the store, and then, when I went to have them installed, the fwonkers couldn't find them. I had a signed delivery receipt in my hand, showing that they'd been delivered that morning, but nobody knew where they were. Eventually, after an hour of searching, someone found 'em on the loading dock. DUH! How hard is it to actually think, "Hey! They were delivered so maybe we should check the loading dock?"
Then they were surprised to learn I had a dually (WTF? Do people often buy SIX fwonking tires for four wheel vehicles, all the same???) and then they decided they couldn't actually install them until the week after next, and then, only with an appointment. (Big fwonking sign on the glass door, in 6" letters, "NO APPOINTMENT NECESSARY". I told them no, just give me the tires and I'll have another shop mount them. Then I triple checked (and got the manager put it on the receipt) that this would not affect the road hazard warranty (5 years) or the lifetime free flat repair and rotate and balance.
Okay, fine, so they refunded me the installation fee, and it cost me a few bucks more (about $50) to have a local tire shop mount & balance them and I was a pretty happy camper.
500 miles later I go to Costco because I want them rebalanced and rotated, now that they've broken in a bit. Nope, can't do it. It's a dually, so you need an appointment, and we only do duallies very early in the morning when the shop is empty. Well, I couldn't make an appointment because I was starting a job that would have me working nights, and another that had me out of town on weekends, so I said to hell with it.
1,000 miles later, after hitting a couple of monster potholes I start getting some vibration from the right rear between 30-35 MPH, so I call Costco to make an appointment. Guy on the phone tells me, "We don't make appointments. There's even a sign on the door that says no appointment necessary, just bring it in." WTF???
Okay, so the next day I head over to Costco and get there a little after noon. The tire shop is empty, nothing in any of the four bays. I go inside, see the girl at the counter, "Sure, we can do it. Let me write up the service order. Oh, it has dual rear wheels? No, we can't do it. You need an appointment." ARRRGGHHH!!
I ask for a manager and they send in a supervisor who says that whoever told me I didn't need an appointment didn't know it was a dually. I explain that I specifically told the fwonker it was a dually and he said, "No Problem!" Supervisor says, "Must have been that guy from the loading dock who was filling in yesterday. Sorry about that." We argue back and forth a bit, and I point out to him that the shop is completely empty, no vehicles at all, so why can't it be done now? (Their supposed reason for only doing duallies in the mornings when the shop is empty was "for safety" because dually trucks are so much bigger. WTF??) Finally I get him to agree to do it right then, without an appointment. Write up the order, hand him the keys and go outside to wait. 15 minutes later the truck is still parked where I left it and here comes the supervisor with my keys. He hands them to me and says they can't do it because it requires two guys "for safety" and they only have one guy in the shop. The other guy is running their gas station because the girl called in sick. ARRRGGGHHH!!!!
Okay, so I make a complaint to one of the managers and he and I go over the whole thing again, and finally he says he'd like to "accommodate" me, and work with my work schedule, so I can just bring it in any morning at 8 AM and they'd get it in and do it. Yayyy!
So, today I leave the house early and get to Costco at 8:10 AM... closed. Locked up tight. No one there. FWONKERS!
I go back at 9:00 and now the original supervisor that I first spoke to is there... explaining to the customer ahead of me that they seem to have "lost" all four of the tires he had bought, and which were shipped to the store nine days ago. The customer is ready to rip his hair out because he'd driven up from Florida to attend a wedding and timed it all so that he could get the tires put on before driving back to Florida. He's leaving tomorrow, and the supervisor is telling him that it will take 5-7 business days to get replacement tires, and no, they can't be shipped to the store in Florida because he'd ordered them for this store. I thought the guy (who was half a head shorter, and about 40 years older than the supervisor) was going to leap over the counter and rip his throat out - and I would have cheered him on and given him a boost over the counter.
So, while that insanity is going on the other guy working the counter asks if he can help me. He's one of the "mechanics" (and I recognize his voice as Mister "No Problem!") and I tell him what I want and... yup, "No Problem!" He writes up the order, I go over it in detail with him as to how I want them rotated, what tire pressures I want, sign the work order, hand him the keys and go out to the truck to get the laptop and find a shady spot to sit.
35 minutes later, the truck still hasn't been moved and here comes the supervisor with his clipboard. "Ummm sir? Did you have an appointment?" ARRRGGGHHH!!!
So I tell him no, I didn't have an appointment, but I've been waiting since 8 AM ("But we don't open at 8 AM. Who told you to come in then?" "YOU DID!") and besides, the sign on the door says I don't need an appointment. "Well sir, for a dually you do need an appointment." "No, the sign on the door says I don't. Maybe you'd like to get a manager out here, before I file a complaint against you for fraudulent business practices?" "Please wait sir... I'll be right back."
15 minutes later, her comes the same manager I'd dealt with last time. "I'm sorry sir, we'd like to accommodate you, but you need an appointment." So, we go over it again and he finally remembers telling me I didn't have to make an appointment and that they'd fit me in. But, according to the supervisor, there's a customer ahead of me. Where? The shop is empty. "Well, we have a 9:30 appointment scheduled..." It's now 9:50 and they aren't there yet, so I point that out and get told that since they have an appointment they can't work on any other vehicles until the appointment ends... WTF????
But they'll work on mine after that.
Okay, how long of a wait do I have? They don't know.
Well how long is the other appointment good for? They don't know. They'll know when they get there. HUH? WTF? (I'm getting louder now, and attracting a crowd) You mean to tell me that if this person doesn't show up you guys just sit around all day and do nothing?!? No sir, after a reasonable amount of time we'll cancel their appointment. What's a reasonable amount of time? They don't know. ARRRGGHHH!!
Okay, so now I'm starting to boil, and I tell him, that I think 30 minutes is a "reasonable" amount of time to hold an appointment and I get him to agree that if the person doesn't show up by 10:00 they'll do my truck.
10:00 comes and goes. Okay, so now you're going to work on mine, right? Yes sir! It's next. Okay, how long will it take? We don't know. WTF?? How could you not know? This is your fwonking JOB!! "Well... duallies can be difficult..." BULLSHIT! (I'm yelling now, quite loud) "Well... we figure a few hours.." Hours? HOURS?? Are you out of your fwonking minds??? With two guys? In a fwonking SHOP? With a lift and air tools? And two balancing machines?? HOURS??? "Well, we have procedures we have to follow... so it takes a couple of hours..." Give me my keys. "But sir! We're going to do the work! We're trying to accommodate you!" "Accommodate"? Is that what you call it? I call it BUTTFWONkING WITHOUT LUBE! (gets a cheer and a lot of laughs from the crowd with that) Give me my fwonking keys! Now! "But sir...!"
Fine! KEEP THE FWONKING KEYS... AND SHOVE 'EM UP YOUR FWONKING ASS, POINTY ENDS FIRST YOU FWONKING IDIOT! (more cheers from the crowd, which now numbers about 20 people)
So, I get in the truck and start it up to leave (I'd given them my spare key) when the manager starts yelling something at me. So I stop the truck by the front entrance and go back to the tire counter and he starts in with, "Why are you leaving? We're doing our best to accommodate you." He's now standing between me and the exit, with my keys in his hand... "Give me my keys and get the fwonk out of my way, or I will TAKE them from you and MOVE YOU myself" So he hands me the keys and steps aside and I leave. As I'm walking out I hear a customer behind me canceling the order they just placed... and two others that had been waiting walked out with me.
Serves 'em right, the stupid FWONKERS!
(I called the corporate headquarters and complained when I got home, and the district manager was supposed to get right back to me - that was five hours ago, still no call. I also filed complaints with the Attorney General, the State Office of Consumer Affairs, and the Better Business Bureau)