700 sportsman
"That motor runs gooder than hell !"
Just been drivin it like usual. I did throw in my weight last Sat.
It's in dire need of a bath to rinse off all the damn salt
It's in dire need of a bath to rinse off all the damn salt

I think I must have pissed it off somehow. Probably by bringing it up here from sunny West Palm Beach in Florida and leaving it outside in the cold and snow, and making it wear snow tires.
So, I had that wiper problem that I'd fixed earlier today and figured I was good to go for awhile. After all, I had a new wiper motor ready to install, all the other problems with the truck we handled and there was nothing left to give me problems... yeah, right.
I get in the truck just before midnight to make a run to the store, start it up, turn on the lights and... no headlights. Parking lights came on fine, just no headlights. Okay, I'd had problems with one headlight before being intermittent when it was cold, and not coming on right until the bulb warmed up a bit (by running the high beams a few seconds) but I'd fixed that (dirty connection) when I changed the headlights. WTF?
Okay, so I figure I'll just pull it forward out of the gravel drive closer to the garage and run inside for a test light to see what was up. Took off the parking brake and the DRLs came on so I tried the headlights again, which then turned off the DRLs but still no headlights. Fwonk it... I ran to the store with just the parking lights and the DRLs, figuring something was cold and needed to warm up, and I'd try the headlights again when I get to the store.
Get to the store and the truck is now warm, so I pull in and set the parking brake and the DRLs go off. Try the headlights and I still got nothing. Then I figured I'd try the high beams and see if those work, so I tried pulling back on the stalk to turn 'em on and it felt stiff, like it was frozen. Thinking that maybe ice had gotten in the switch somehow (melted snow on the floor of the truck hadn't dried completely when I parked it yesterday and it had been humid in the truck) I pulled it a little harder and got a very loud "CLICK" and the highs came on. Uh oh... bad feeling about that. Pull the stalk again to switch back to low beams and nothing... No "click", just the spring, like there wasn't even a switch in there, and the highs stayed on. Fwonk! Broke the switch in the fwonking stalk! So, now I've got my high beams stuck on, but I can turn 'em off with the headlight switch and, with the switch in the park position I still have the DRLs, which are dimmer than headlights but not that bad. At least I won't get a ticket for having the brights on, or no headlights, but now I have to change the switch. $159 at Autozone, and I'm fwonking broke until after Christmas.
fwonk![]()
