John what year is yours?
Edit: 09 I see, so you didnt have the funky lifters
Correct Sir. So far they've dealt with the valve cover encased PCV valve, and the AFM "splash shield" or AFM gasket. 800 miles later she was .85qt low. Same pattern as before. Next I guess is rings, and if that doesn't work I'm not sure, maybe a new engine. School me if I'm off mark
From the threads I have followed on GMT, I think you are right. 1 out of bazillions have the issue apparently, and either get rings or a long block. It's all about the dealer, brother. I hope you have a good one.
My 07 had the junk lifters. Replaced, no more issues.